Bolt gave me a really dirty look. But the baby was fussy and he needed something to distract him. He’s just learning how to grab things and fling them around, much to his amusement. So I gave him the closest thing I had. It just happened to be a knitting needle.
Now, before I get voted worst mother ever, I’d like to say in my defense that it was a circular needle and the part attached to the cord was pointing toward his face, not the pointy side. So, I was reasonably certain that he wasn’t going to poke his eye out. Which, he did not, for the record.
I have been spending the last almost three months of Bug’s life relearning how to knit with a baby on my lap. It is slowing me down something fierce, especially as he is getting better at grabbing. We’re making do with a slower pace on everything around here. I have to choose recipes that can be executed in 20 minute chunks, because that is the longest amount of time that Bug will sit happily in his bouncy chair.
I both love this forced slow-down and deeply hate it. It is the essential duality of my motherhood experience so far. For instance, right now, Bug is fast asleep on my chest. I am so completely in love with him and love feeling his little hands wrapped around my chest. But, we’re having guests over for dinner in an hour. I should really be cooking dinner or showering or something. I’m stressed, when I think about it, but calmed when I feel him. I am learning, slowly, to deal with the stress I feel to get things done. He is the pressure I need to prioritize. And I only resent him for that occasionally. It is kinda like if my vitamins were dipped in chocolate half the time and bitter the other half.
So, Bolt’s new sweater might take a lot longer than it would have if I had started it BB – before Bug. But, it will get done. And, presumably, I’ll find some more suitable toys for my baby in the meantime.